Mensa Geek

Nature documentaries and Star Trek episodes have much in common. Both these programs set one to consider the universe. Both these programs appear in that mid afternoon time slot. And both these programs feature the voice of Leonard Nimoy (or someone who sounds much like Leonard Nimoy).

Today’s nature show is questioning religion.

Well actually it is on anteaters…….I am questioning religion.

Why would god create an ant and then an anteater? Does he not like ants? Or is it a “Lion king” thing.? … A “circle of life” thing?

Or did god in his infinite mercy take pity on the creature with the long tubular nose and create something small and generally defenseless for it to eat?

Or is it more likely…..and blasphemous to state that god didn’t want the ants at all! Didn’t want them getting too cocky and thus created a natural foe….The anteater…..Checkmate!

Ants have anteaters, man has maneaters. Certain types of bears, lions and sharks are maneaters. They have been nearing extinction since film directors and authors were given guns.

These maneaters can be found on the flags of professional sport teams or hostile countries. Countries and sports teams like to choose maneaters because they are strong and fearless.

Ants are also strong and fearless but are never identified with national flags or contact sports.

An ant can carry something like ten times its weight. It could carry ten other ants.

A lion, though strong could never carry ten other lions. Nor could a bear! And if H.G Wells’s horrible predictions should ever come true and monstrous ants walked the earth, I am sure that they too would become maneaters and …what the hell….they’d probably eat anteaters as well.

When I see banners with lions in sunglasses, or sharks with hockey sticks, I am often curious as to why I do not see an ant representing a sport team.

An ant carrying a creature ten times its size and weight, in bloodied serrated mandibles. One of its six legs would have a rugby ball as the other five scurry forward knocking aside bears, lions, and alligators in its path.

It would stare out from the “Alabama Ants” banner with cold, calculating eyes and a raised tentacle that seems to transmit “Here’s one for the collective” (the Borg of the insect world).

“Let’s hear it for the drones!!” A team for the new millennium. A new breed of hero.

The Louisiana Locusts, The Brooklyn Bees . . . the Rochford Roaches. And they would make a country proud, or a planet peaceful.

Soon all the flags for countries and sports teams would forget the pride and strength of the maneaters and anteaters, and adhere to the collective symbolism of the insect paying homage to determination, will, and cooperation as opposed to strength, pride and individuality.

Yet, it seems that the anteaters have already lost the battle

For I have never seen an anteater, but I’ve seen plenty of ants and I don’t see many maneaters either.

Except on nature documentaries and the occasional Star Trek episode.